San Francisco Bay Area Marriage and Family Therapist Intern
Registration #IMF 42021
Supervised by Kim Ives Bailey, MFT
License #MFC 32076
The tip of the iceberg
I understand only a small percentage of an iceberg can be seen above the water. If we didn’t know how icebergs really are, we would believe that the small part we see is all there is. So… why am I talking about icebergs? Because I think they hint at the nature of our own experience. Many believe that the portion of our thinking and experience that’s conscious — that we’re aware of — is pretty much all that matters. The idea is that we live and make choices based on what we know and understand. However, I believe what’s conscious is just the proverbial tip of the iceberg. I’m convinced, and have seen over and over again, that what’s out of sight isn’t at all out of mind.
This is one of the many areas where therapy can be useful. By discovering and coming to terms with the places where we have developed unproductive (or even counter-productive) beliefs and coping mechanisms, we can learn better ways of handling the challenges we face. The more we understand the areas that challenge us, and how we respond to those challenges, the better able we are to take the kind of action that gets us what we need. Understanding our problems and challenges more clearly is a key that opens doors to new possibilities and outcomes.
Some examples:
“We fight over the stupidest things.”
Couples argue about what matters to them. What matters, however, may not be immediately obvious. Click here for more information >>>
“I have no idea where THAT came from — I just said it before I knew what I was saying.”
It’s pretty well recognized in the field of psychology that people sometimes say things they didn’t intend to. The things we say often come from something important but unacknowledged. Click here for more information >>>
“You’re not the person I fell in love with!”
Falling in love can feel so profound and captivating, so mystical, that it transports us into a different world where colors are brighter, where we feel magically connected, where we feel truly “known” and understood for perhaps the first time in our lives. Click here for more information >>>
Please contact me here for more information >>>
The information provided in this Web site is offered for informational purposes only; it is not offered as and does not constitute professional advice. Replies to e-mail messages, if any, will be general in nature and will not form a therapist-client relationship. Be aware that the confidentiality of information sent over the Internet, including e-mail, may not be legally or otherwise protected or secure.
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